I wondered if ‘disheartened’ was too strong a word to use for this post, because it’s not really meant to be a negative thing… it just is my new kind of normal at the moment. I looked up the dictionary and it says to be disheartened is to “shake or destroy the resolution of” and that pretty accurately describes how I’m feeling about doing anything above what is necessary for daily survival at the moment. It’s all too hard, I’ve given in.
And it’s this little cherub that has tipped me over the edge. Don’t be fooled by that angelic little face, this kid is in full 18 month old cheeky, get into everything mode.
Seriously, she can not be left alone for more than 30 seconds without getting herself into a situation that could end up badly. I’m not talking just that she could make a mess, but she could hurt herself. Today I left her alone while I used the bathroom.. came back to find her sitting in the kitchen sink. She’d pulled a chair out from the table, used that to climb up on the table and climbed from the table to the kitchen bench. Luckily it was the island bench, not the other kitchen bench from where she could have grabbed the knives or turned on a hot plate.
Forget trying to do anything while I’m at home with her. It goes something like this – pick up something from the ground and put it away, go and get Emilia off the kitchen table. Fold one t-shirt, get Emilia off the veranda table. Put one dish in the dishwasher, grab the three other dirty dishes off her that she’s taken out of the dishwasher in the time taken to rinse the dish. Work on the computer, forget it… she climbs up and sits on the keyboard in front of you. Honestly, the kid is cute… but at the moment it’s hard work.
I really can’t remember the other two getting into this much trouble, but it could be just a numbers game and the one extra has pushed me over the edge. By the time all three of them are in bed all night and I finally sit down on the couch and think about all the things I can now get done in peace and quiet I’m too exhausted to move.
Anyway, it’s all ok. I’ve surrendered to it for now and I know it will pass, probably all too quickly. I’m just saying.. that’s why I haven’t posted for awhile, or done anything fun, or crafted anything, or baked anything, or had a tidy house for the last 3 months.